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Vieraskieliset / In-english

Blog: Could we do so­met­hing to­get­her?

Päivämies-verkkolehti
Vieraskieliset / In-english
3.12.2019 6.32

Juttua muokattu:

23.12. 02:44
2019122302444920191203063200

We all know how im­por­tant it is to spend time to­get­her. Coup­les are en­cou­ra­ged to have some pri­va­te time for them­sel­ves, and that is a good thing. Short bre­aks from the dai­ly rou­ti­ne are ref­res­hing. Many pe­op­le seem to take such mini-bre­aks. I so­me­ti­mes think eve­ry­bo­dy el­se does it, ex­cept we don’t. But I do dis­cuss this to­pic with my wife qui­te re­gu­lar­ly.

This is how our dis­cus­si­on goes:

– We should do so­met­hing to­get­her.

– It would be lo­ve­ly! How about going out for a meal?

– Sure! When could we go?

– How about next wee­kend?

The wee­kend co­mes and goes. We don’t go anyw­he­re. A month pas­ses by, then anot­her. We have the same dis­cus­si­on again. Six months pass by. We still have not had that meal out to­get­her. Why not?

When you have small child­ren, it seems to be re­al­ly dif­fi­cult to car­ve out more than a mo­ment for pri­va­te time to­get­her. It may be hard to find so­me­o­ne to take care of the child­ren. And what do we do about a baby that needs to be bre­ast-fed? Can any­bo­dy el­se make our child­ren set­t­le down to sleep in the eve­ning? Who could we even ask to come and stay with our child­ren? You don’t need to make an ef­fort to find obs­tac­les, they are so ob­vi­ous and so many. And our idea to go out to­get­her is post­po­ned again and again.

We so­me­ti­mes won­der why this should be so dif­fi­cult. We are not dre­a­ming to go for a va­ca­ti­on in Spain. Or we do, but that would be a lit­t­le too ext­ra­va­gant for a stu­dent’s fa­mi­ly. We on­ly dream of a meal to­get­her in a res­tau­rant, going for a jog to­get­her, ha­ving sau­na at the ca­bin, and so on. And we seem unab­le to ac­comp­lish even that. I would call that sheer la­zi­ness!

But ma­y­be that kind of la­zi­ness is al­so a sign of so­met­hing po­si­ti­ve, na­me­ly func­ti­o­nal fa­mi­ly life and a good coup­le re­la­ti­ons­hip. Isn’t is so that good home life is even more im­por­tant than bre­aks, eit­her short or long. Ha­ving tea to­get­her on an or­di­na­ry week­day eve­ning, sit­ting on a sofa to­get­her, ha­ving sau­na to­get­her, those things are im­por­tant to us. I would not chan­ge our good eve­ry­day life for less good life with more va­ca­ti­ons.

Yet we had this same dis­cus­si­on again a short while ago. I re­a­li­zed that we had had our pre­vi­ous mo­ment to­get­her a short li­fe­ti­me ago – in our case nine months ago. We de­ci­ded to re­al­ly do so­met­hing about it. And we did: we chec­ked our ca­len­dars, made a coup­le of phone cal­ls – and eve­ryt­hing tur­ned out fine. It was not so dif­fi­cult af­ter all.

I was fi­nal­ly ab­le to go out with my wife. Af­ter some time on a clim­bing wall and a meal at a res­tau­rant I felt great. My wife see­med de­a­rer than ever. The child­ren see­med swee­ter than even. We de­ci­ded that when we have this same dis­cus­si­on again in the fu­tu­re, we will act more quick­ly. Those who en­cou­ra­ged us to have a pri­va­te mo­ment to­get­her were cer­tain­ly not wrong.

Text: Sau­li Ter­va­nie­mi

Trans­la­ti­on: Sirk­ka-Lii­sa Lei­no­nen

You will find the ori­gi­nal fin­nish blog post here.

4.7.2020

"Minä ope­tan si­nua", sa­noo Her­ra, "minä osoi­tan si­nul­le oi­ke­an tien. Minä neu­von si­nua, kat­see­ni seu­raa as­ke­lei­ta­si." Ps. 32:8

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