It was Fri­day. The week had been busy and full of unex­pec­ted events. I had ta­ken one child to a den­tal ap­point­ment and anot­her to the he­alth cli­nic and had at­ten­ded the pa­rent-te­ac­her mee­tings of se­ve­ral child­ren. I had not been ab­le to fit all of the se­ven pa­rent-te­ac­her ses­si­ons in­to one week, so there would be more to do af­ter the wee­kend.

The child­ren had had the nor­mal num­ber of hob­bies and had nee­ded the nor­mal num­ber of ri­des. I had ta­ken some pain­tings to Pori, and some pros­pec­ti­ve bu­yers had come to see my pain­tings in our home. I had tried to main­tain a mo­de­ra­te le­vel of ti­di­ness in the hou­se, so the vi­si­tors would not stumb­le over pi­les of shoes when en­te­ring the hou­se.

The pre­vi­ous wee­kends had al­so been busy. We had had over­night com­pa­ny for many wee­kends in a row. It see­med that, for a long time, I had not been ab­le to pau­se and stand still. I ad­mit I am not such a re­la­xed mot­her that I could hang around in py­ja­mas when we have child­ren’s friends sta­ying over­night. Nor do I feel ab­le to sleep in free­ly. Alt­hough there are lo­ads of home cho­res, I do not want to or­der our child­ren to do them when they have friends vi­si­ting.

So, on that Fri­day I de­ci­ded I would be a cruel mot­her for a coup­le of days. I would not take any ext­ra child­ren to stay over­night, and I would not let our kids go anyw­he­re. In my mind I dec­la­red this wee­kend to be a fa­mi­ly wee­kend! My plan was that on Sa­tur­day we would do some cho­res, spend time out­doors, and heat the out­door sau­na. I dre­a­med of slee­ping late on Sun­day, ha­ving an un­hur­ried lunch, and get­ting to ser­vi­ces in good time.

When the first kids came home from school on Fri­day af­ter­noon, I had the first qu­es­ti­on, ”Could a friend of mine come for the night?” “Not this wee­kend”, I said. The next kid came and said her friend had as­ked her to come over for the night. “Not this wee­kend”, I said. The third child soon ar­ri­ved with the same qu­es­ti­on. She would have li­ked to have two friends to stay over­night. Then so­me­o­ne cal­led and al­so as­ked to be put up for the night.

I felt mi­se­rab­le sa­ying ”no” to all these re­qu­est. I felt I would soon be known as a truly ruth­less mot­her. But I de­ci­ded to stand by my de­ci­si­on and said there would be no room in the inn. I wan­ted so bad­ly to have a mo­ment of pe­a­ce and qui­et. When I exp­lai­ned to my child­ren that we would spend this wee­kend with just our own fa­mi­ly, I was as­to­nis­hed to hear no pro­test. I gu­ess they have le­arnt that when I say so­met­hing emp­ha­ti­cal­ly, it is no use to press on the mat­ter. Or ma­y­be they nee­ded some pe­a­ce and qui­et them­sel­ves. One ac­tu­al­ly said, ”OK, that’s fine.” She could just re­lax and read a book this wee­kend.

On Fri­day we de­ci­ded to le­a­ve Dad at home, so he could have a nap, while the rest of us would go to the lib­ra­ry and al­so buy some can­dy. When I went home with the lit­t­le ones, the big­ger child­ren sta­yed be­hind to shop for clot­hes. In the eve­ning we had a meal to­get­her and tal­ked. On Sa­tur­day I per­su­a­ded each child to do a small chore. Some of them were a bit re­luc­tant at first, but did what I as­ked for. In the eve­ning my hus­band took the child­ren on a hike in the fo­rest. I spent that time he­a­ting the out­door sau­na, pain­ting a pic­tu­re, and lis­te­ning to the si­len­ce. La­ter in the eve­ning our ol­der child­ren went to see their friends. The rest of the fa­mi­ly had sau­na. On Sun­day we all slept late, coo­ked lunch, went for a short walk, and even lay down for a while be­fo­re the ser­vi­ces.

When we tal­ked about the wee­kend, eve­ry­bo­dy ag­reed that it was won­der­ful to spend some time with just our own fa­mi­ly. So­me­o­ne al­so said that it is good to in­vi­te friends over for the night to get to know them bet­ter. I said I ag­ree. I very much en­joy ha­ving a fa­mi­ly of friends vi­sit and stay over­night du­ring the wee­kend. I en­joy the dis­cus­si­ons and the pos­si­bi­li­ty to do things to­get­her, but such wee­kends should be so rare that they seem spe­ci­al.

I find that pe­a­ce­ful fa­mi­ly wee­kends imp­ro­ve the fa­mi­ly spi­rit. That seems very va­lu­ab­le. It may be that, li­ving way out in the count­ry, we have be­co­me a bit of her­mits. But the truth is that our fa­mi­ly needs pe­a­ce­ful wee­kends on­ce in a while to ma­na­ge our hec­tic week­day sche­du­les.

Text: Vir­pi Mä­ki­nen

Trans­la­ti­on: Sirk­ka-Lii­sa Lei­no­nen

You will find the ori­gi­nal Fin­nish blog post here.