I have moved back to my childhood home. I am sitting at the kitchen window with my mother. My mother says:
– This yard has been a good place for my children and grandchildren to play. Through this window I could always see what they were doing.
– I sometimes even forget what I am doing and just watch my children. I think about all of them together and each of them separately. I have sometimes wondered if the children can feel that I am watching them and thinking supportive thoughts. Can we encourage someone just by thinking about them? I ask my mother.
– I believe we can. I am sure your children feel that you want to support and help them and will always defend them, mother responds.
An artisan I know says that she weaves warm thoughts into her rugs. She says she can remember her friends by giving them such rugs, and she also gives them away as presents to less familiar people. The loom I inherited from my mother is stacked away behind a lot of stuff in the storeroom, so I apply this weaver’s ideas to my daily chores. I bake warm thoughts into dinner rolls and cinnamon buns. I replace a broken zip to show that I care. I cut hair to help unburden the person’s mind.
Then I have difficult times in my own life. Illnesses and trials deplete my resources completely. Cancer medication takes my hair without unburdening my mind. I have very few warm and supportive thoughts. I quietly ask myself: Does anybody see that I would need support? Could I accept compassion from someone else?
Years go by. My sensibility is gradually being restored; I begin to feel empathy toward other people again. When sitting at services, I may find myself thinking about the people in front of me. I wonder how they are getting on. Do they feel my empathetic thoughts? Can I support and encourage them through by thinking now that I lack the strength and the capability to do anything else? Could loving one’s neighbors take such special forms? Can I be a loving neighbor by supporting other people with my thoughts?
I decide to try. I send a support to you...
...father who have come to services with the school kids; maybe the mother is at home with a child who is ill;
...lady in the kitchen crew who fret about having forgotten that package of cheese;
...brother called to serve tonight and your family;
...weary-looking service guest who have come to services needing comfort and strengthening of your faith.
One Sunday I manage to speak out my supportive thought to the mother of a big family. With tears in her eyes she says:
– It is so comforting to hear that someone cares.
During my mother’s last spring we are sitting in her kitchen. My mother says:
– My task in life has been to care. I have taken care of children, animals, and an elder. For some time now I have been taken care of myself. I have found that the hardest task. I have been a demanding and dissatisfied person. But even so, I think it is important to take care of oneself and to regard oneself as deserving care. One should be patient and encouraging with oneself.
Encouraged by my mother, I send a supportive thought to myself: Liisa, you are good enough the way you are. Carried and supported by this thought, I agree to write this blog for Päivämies.
Text: Liisa Huusko
Translation: Sirkka-Liisa Leinonen
You will find the original Finnish blog post here.
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