Maanantai 18.2.2019
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Minä luotan sinun armoosi, saan iloita sinun avustasi. Minä laulan kiitosta Herralle, hän pitää minusta huolen. Ps. 13:6

Blog: Marriage

in English 25.5.2017 06:29 | Päivämies-verkkolehti
We bought our car on Saturday. We were only just able to scrape together the down payment for a Volkswagen Jetta, myself in military service and my wife a student. On Sunday we drove our car down to the capital region, and early on Monday morning I hit a lamppost, CRASH! We did not have an all-risk insurance, of course not. And the front of the car looked like the end of the world, in the financial sense.
I walked home with a heavy heart, wondering what would happen when my wife heard the news of the catastrophe. But she only consoled me. I was given a lesson in the order of importance of things in life. I had a lesson in love and matrimony when my wife said I was the most precious and dear person to her. I felt I was beginning to understand, just very little, how good our 6-month-long marriage could turn out to be at its best. When a person can taste mercy, he can also take a little bit of the truth. With a lot of heartache we cancelled my wife’s endowment insurance policy and paid for the costly bill of repairs.

Marriage is an unbelievably good arrangement, which is no wonder as it was decreed by God. In marriage one person becomes committed to another completely and fully. The officiating minister asks whether John wants to take Mary as exactly the kind of person that God made her. And the other way round. There is no room for ’if only’, ’later when’ or ’but she is…’, no reservation. The marital love bestowed by God upon the husband and the wife is unconditional.  

This kind of love does not mean that you will love your spouse after a ”three-year training program” when he or she has learnt to please you in all possible ways. It does not mean that you will love your spouse after the house has been vacuum-cleaned completely, even under the clothes hanging in the wardrobe. Or that you will love your spouse as long as he does not have any grey in his hair, or she is not overweight after a pregnancy. It means that you love your husband even though he does not have big biceps and is only able to lift 72 pounds in bench press. It means you love him because you love him. Love does not bargain with time use, affection or mutual acceptance. Love is unselfishness made explicit. It is like a long-distance race where the goal is to help your competitor win. It is almost overpowering to read about the countless manifestations of love in God’s word. I will never be capable of that kind of love, no matter how hard I try. Will it be enough if I want to try?

Marital love is a life-long school.  I have learnt on the way that love does not survive my tendency to ignore or overlook the needs of my spouse. I have found that love does not suffer from setbacks but does suffer from neglect. Love even survives quarrels, but does not survive refusal to forgive. Love requires me to take a mirror and ask myself: am I doing the right thing? Love instructs me to apologize and to forgive. From my heart.

Text: Harri Vähäjylkkä
Translation: S.-L. Leinonen

You will find the original Finnish blog post here.
 

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