Tiistai 24.9.2019
Elävät, elävät sinua ylistävät, niin kuin minä tänään ylistän! Jes. 38:19

Blog: Is it dull?

in English 14.5.2019 06:09 | Päivämies-verkkolehti
This was not part of the dreams I had as a young girl – the home of a single person. But this home is my own home, and it is always a joy to come back here. Yet I dreamed of something different. Were they futile dreams because they did not come true? I do not think so. When you dream about something, you never know whether or not your dream will come true. If we were able to know all things beforehand, life would seem quite empty.
Dreams are like travels in our own mind. They do not disturb or offend anybody unless they take over the everyday reality and incapacitate us. I still dream, but my dreams have changed over time. Traveling in your dreams does not require a passport, a suitcase, money, time off from work, or even a companion, but it can add color to your otherwise uneventful daily life.

Sometimes I travel in real life, too, making longer or shorter trips. I have good memories of spending a night in the home of dear friends. I sat down for breakfast in the middle of the children on a long bench. The baby sat in a high chair at one end of the table, waving his spoon and singing cheerfully.

– It seems so nice to have my breakfast in company and not by myself, like usually, I said.
– Oh, isn’t it terribly dull? the little girl looked at me with astonishment in her eyes.
– Don’t you have anybody? one of the little ones asked.

I told them how I live.

– You just have breakfast by yourself? the first little girl wanted to make sure she had got it right.

I told them that I do all the normal daily chores that are done in their home. I also told them something else. The mother of the family added that I have a possibility to do all kinds of things without asking anybody for permission and without anybody disturbing me.

– I could come to your home and stay the night, my godson promised.

I often marvel at the mothers who worry about so many things in their families, as I may also feel painfully worried about some of the people who are close to me. I know, however, that they have the strength and joy of motherhood and a view of the future. I think I would not cope with the many challenges of family life. The Heavenly Father has given me a life that is suitable to me. I just hope that I would never become so self-centered that I would not be touched by the joys, needs, and worries of other people. They are part of rich human life.

Single people have a lot of freedom to come and go, to acquire things, and to plan their schedules. There are naturally also limitations. I cannot get or do everything, but frankly, I do not even want to. We are needed by our friends and other dear ones, by society, and by other believers. I sometimes feel there are too many strings pulling me into different directions. At those times it would seem good not having to come into an empty home. It would be good to have someone to listen and share my thoughts and feelings. But I have also seen that life companions are not always able to share and understand each other’s most sensitive thoughts and feelings.

It is my experience that when I am alone with my thoughts, completely new prospects of life may open up if my feeling of being alone is not predominated by anxiety. I often have that experience when walking along a forest path or stopping by a lake. I may also experience such freedom while working on a monotonous daily chore, where my hands work automatically and leave my mind free to roam. A dull moment may become rewarding and bring joy to life.

The little girl who wondered about the dullness of my life has grown to be a young student, who often longs for peace among her busy family life.

I recently read a book about the value of dullness and monotony. The author discussed the fear of modern people to face themselves at moments when there is nothing going on. Yet precisely those moments give space for thoughts and creativity. Dull moments are actually needed by people of all ages.

Text: Aili Pasanen
Translation: Sirkka-Liisa Leinonen

You will find the original Finnish blog post here. 

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