Rick Ne­va­la

I so­me­ti­mes see a fel­low tra­ve­ler of the way sit­ting alo­ne at ser­vi­ces. I won­der what brought them there to sit alo­ne. I sel­dom find strength to go talk to them. Ima­gi­ne ar­ri­ving at ser­vi­ces and no one no­ti­ces you; no one spe­aks to you.

I ad­mit that as a pas­tor in a lar­ge cong­re­ga­ti­on I have so­me­ti­mes felt lo­ne­li­ness. My circ­le of im­me­di­a­te re­la­ti­ves and close friends is small. Af­ter ser­vi­ces I hear pe­op­le open­ly say, “I am going here,” or “I am doing this.” Lar­ge so­ci­al circ­les pro­vi­de them with many op­por­tu­ni­ties to at­tend fes­ti­ve oc­ca­si­ons and events.

Most ti­mes, exc­lu­si­on is unin­ten­ti­o­nal. Lar­ge fa­mi­ly trees con­nect pe­op­le from birth. There is no need to join a group – it is au­to­ma­tic. Fa­mi­ly so­ci­al struc­tu­res help meet needs that ari­se in ce­leb­ra­ting life events, and for some it’s ea­sy to fill a hou­se through fa­mi­ly ties. I find that I have to wait for an in­vi­ta­ti­on, or make an ef­fort to inc­lu­de my­self.

In cong­re­ga­ti­on life, we can re­view or­ga­ni­za­ti­o­nal struc­tu­re and po­li­cies to dis­co­ver who is inc­lu­ded and who is exc­lu­ded. We can com­pa­re lists of du­ties with the mem­ber list or list all the el­ders and then vi­sit them.

What about when new mem­bers join the cong­re­ga­ti­on? How are they no­ti­ced? Do they know how to be­co­me a mem­ber and how do we wel­co­me them? Some may be over­loo­ked if they don’t have a help­ful re­la­ti­ve to us­her them in.

What does the Bib­le say about this? Heb­rews 10:24,25 en­cou­ra­ges us to sup­port one anot­her in love and to gat­her to­get­her re­gu­lar­ly. Scrip­tu­re does not en­cou­ra­ge us to be­lie­ve on our own, but to gat­her to pro­tect our mu­tu­al faith in the fel­lows­hip of be­lie­vers.

To an in­di­vi­du­al, exc­lu­si­on may feel in­ten­ti­o­nal. One’s na­tu­re may be such that it is hard for them to ap­p­ro­ach ot­hers wit­hout a clear re­a­son. Some may be ti­mid by na­tu­re and may re­qui­re sup­port to find the bra­ve­ry to con­nect and join groups.

Those who al­re­a­dy be­long to the group can aut­hen­ti­cal­ly inc­lu­de ot­hers by co­ming to where the new­co­mer is, gree­ting them and tre­a­ting them like they be­long. Aut­hen­ti­ci­ty is about being real; there is no sing­le per­fect way to re­ach out and inc­lu­de anot­her. We can do away with exc­lu­si­on when we, as Paul ex­horts, “out­do one anot­her in sho­wing ho­nor [to the ot­her]” (Rom. 12:10, ESV).

In some ca­ses, exc­lu­si­on is in­ten­ti­o­nal. This can dra­ma­ti­cal­ly af­fect those who are exc­lu­ded. If we walk by wit­hout ack­now­led­ging anot­her, it emp­ha­si­zes to the ig­no­red one that they are alo­ne. Je­sus exp­lains how the good Sa­ma­ri­tan stop­ped to help. The pas­tor, the le­ar­ned, the con­nec­ted per­son who knew eve­ry­o­ne pas­sed by.

It feels good to inc­lu­de ot­hers. Paul en­cou­ra­ged the Ga­la­ti­an be­lie­vers, “Let us not grow we­a­ry of doing good” (Gal. 6:9, ESV). He re­min­ded them that in well doing there is a bles­sing. Both the gi­ver and re­cei­ver be­ne­fit. God’s king­dom be­ne­fits when all are inc­lu­ded in the work and all walk in uni­ty of Spi­rit and love. We can all take a part in this.

The text was pub­lis­hed in Päi­vä­mies in Ap­ril 2025. The theme of the is­sue was "pre­ven­ti­on of exc­lu­si­on".