This time I decided to go straight to the point and write about what is really the most important matter to me. I will write about faith. And this time I will not be able to give rational arguments to back up my views and opinions. Pondering and reasoning are some of my favorite pastimes, but I will put them aside for now. They do not belong here.
I also wrote about faith when attending a course where the participants discussed their own lives. Those texts were not shared, so I only wrote to myself. I could therefore be completely open about things.
The course leader used the concept “spiritual life”, which covers both religion and general spirituality, such as creativity, views about the purpose of life and other profound considerations.
I wrote that I am a believer and have been since childhood. Faith is the foundation underlying my life, so that I do not need to carry and support everything by myself.
I believe that my afterlife will not be defined by how good I have been or how successfully I have avoided all things evil. I could never reach such level of goodness. God has taken care of that on my behalf.
We were also asked to write about our spiritual crises. The thing that first came to my mind was the time when my mental resources dwindled. I almost ran out of faith. I kept questioning why God had given me such a heavy burden.
Yet, at the same time, prayer and contacts with other believers became very important. I felt that prayer brought God close to me, and when I went to services, there were no demands made on me.
I experienced another crisis when a dear person died. I even doubted if God and heaven even existed. Or was it all just stories to give us humans the strength to live, have babies and work?
On one of those dark days I was due to keep Sunday School. It seemed an impossible task to tell the children about heaven. We started Sunday School. I lit a candle, and we sang a familiar song. I said a short, child-like prayer: ”Dear Heavenly Father, come to be with us in this Sunday School.”
The children looked at me trustingly. That calmed me down and helped me believe that Jesus was there with us. He was right there in our home with the children and me.
Afterwards I thought that the enemy had attacked me when I was weak and grieving, almost lost.
It is not fashionable these days to talk about faith. Nor is it easy. But I do not remember much talk about faith even “in the old days”, except in Sunday School and services. The pastors in church also talked about God and Jesus, but that was somehow different and more distant.
- Why could we not talk about faith in the way we talk about the other aspects of life? Where do you live now? How are you getting along? Have you been traveling? Have you had the strength to believe? What kind of a car do you have?
- I’ve been suffering from flu and muscle pain. My faith has been weak, but I haven’t dared to give it up, as I don’t know any better alternative. I thought I would take a break and go somewhere warm with my friends. We could listen to online services there. I hope life will treat you well. And be sure to to keep your faith.
Even at the risk of being considered overspiritual, I thought I would write about faith. Compared with faith, titles and degrees, status and public esteem, salary, houses, furniture, wisdom, knowledge and understanding are unimportant.
Text: Mirja Heikkilä
Translation: Sirkka-Liisa Leinonen
You will find the original finnish blog post here.
Kesäseuraradion lähetys alkoi 17. kesäkuuta, viikkoa aiemmin kuin edellisvuosina. Jo ennen tätä kuultiin seurapainotteinen kevätlähetys, joka oli kuultavissa pelkästään nettiradion kautta. Kun Kesäseuraradio päättää tulevana maanantaina lähetyksensä, sen vastuunkantajilla on takanaan melkoinen määrä työtä.