The night is fal­ling and I am fol­ding my hands in pra­yer. I am re­al­ly poor at pra­ying, but it is good that you know what I am as­king even be­fo­re I find the cor­rect words. I have had such big doubts and temp­ta­ti­ons. I have even doub­ted if I am a be­lie­ver any­mo­re, be­cau­se I have felt like wal­king in the val­ley of the sha­dow of de­ath that the Psalms talk about. But when I pau­sed to re­mi­nis­ce about that Bib­le por­ti­on, I was al­most start­led to re­mem­ber the won­der­ful words that fol­low: I will fear no evil, for you are with me; yo­ur rod and yo­ur staff, they com­fort me.

You com­fort me, you gui­de my steps. Re­mind me al­wa­ys to see you help, so that I would not be mis­ta­ken to find this val­ley eter­nal and im­pe­net­rab­le. Help me no­ti­ce that there are ot­hers here who walk by my side and make me see ahe­ad again, re­min­ding me of yo­ur words of pro­mi­se: I will car­ry you, I will sus­tain you and I will res­cue you.

Help me un­ders­tand that I have been gi­ven this bur­den by you in yo­ur wis­dom. Help me hang on to the com­for­ting words that tell me you knew each day of my life even be­fo­re I was born in­to this world. You know the num­ber of stars on the sky and take care of the ti­niest spar­row. I know you will al­so take care of me and my dear ones!

And to­mor­row, if the day is full of light and joy, do not let me for­get where all the good­ness co­mes from! Do not let me grow to be too know­led­ge­ab­le and too strong. Keep me small like a child who does not qu­es­ti­on or doubt. The child on­ly be­lie­ves and trusts. Pro­tect me from sin, and when I fall, help me seek the cle­an­sing mer­cy of yo­ur gos­pel. For on­ly sin can take away faith and cor­rupt the he­art and the mind.

Pro­tect my dear ones! Even those who no lon­ger feel they need yo­ur pro­tec­ti­on. I know that all of our con­cerns and pra­yers on their be­half are sa­fe­ly kept by you. Ne­ver stop cal­ling them back.

And ne­ver let me for­get why I be­lie­ve. You are the foun­da­ti­on and se­cu­ri­ty of my life. And even more im­por­tant­ly, you give me the des­ti­na­ti­on: the he­a­ven­ly home. I have seen many dear pe­op­le re­ach for that home and pe­a­ce­ful­ly en­ter it. There is so much to be thank­ful for!

And now that I am ti­red, I say like one the lit­t­le ones on­ce said: “I am not af­raid to fall as­leep be­cau­se I know the He­a­ven­ly Fat­her will be awa­ke!”

In­ke­ri Heik­ka­la

Trans­la­ti­on: S-L.L.

Blog post pub­lis­hed in on­li­ne Päi­vä­mies on 9 Feb. 2016