The night is falling and I am folding my hands in prayer. I am really poor at praying, but it is good that you know what I am asking even before I find the correct words. I have had such big doubts and temptations. I have even doubted if I am a believer anymore, because I have felt like walking in the valley of the shadow of death that the Psalms talk about. But when I paused to reminisce about that Bible portion, I was almost startled to remember the wonderful words that follow: I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You comfort me, you guide my steps. Remind me always to see you help, so that I would not be mistaken to find this valley eternal and impenetrable. Help me notice that there are others here who walk by my side and make me see ahead again, reminding me of your words of promise: I will carry you, I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Help me understand that I have been given this burden by you in your wisdom. Help me hang on to the comforting words that tell me you knew each day of my life even before I was born into this world. You know the number of stars on the sky and take care of the tiniest sparrow. I know you will also take care of me and my dear ones!
And tomorrow, if the day is full of light and joy, do not let me forget where all the goodness comes from! Do not let me grow to be too knowledgeable and too strong. Keep me small like a child who does not question or doubt. The child only believes and trusts. Protect me from sin, and when I fall, help me seek the cleansing mercy of your gospel. For only sin can take away faith and corrupt the heart and the mind.
Protect my dear ones! Even those who no longer feel they need your protection. I know that all of our concerns and prayers on their behalf are safely kept by you. Never stop calling them back.
And never let me forget why I believe. You are the foundation and security of my life. And even more importantly, you give me the destination: the heavenly home. I have seen many dear people reach for that home and peacefully enter it. There is so much to be thankful for!
And now that I am tired, I say like one the little ones once said: “I am not afraid to fall asleep because I know the Heavenly Father will be awake!”
Blog post published in online Päivämies on 9 Feb. 2016
Monet suunnitelmat ovat tänä poikkeuksellisena keväänä muuttuneet. Muun muassa perhejuhlien järjestelyjä on pitänyt miettiä uudelleen. Tämä on koskenut myös avioliittoon vihkimisiä. Nyt vihkimisiä on toimitettu niin, että koolla on ollut vain joitakin läheisiä, ja muu juhlaväki on seurannut tilaisuutta ehkä virtuaalisesti.