Text: Anne Lindfors
Translation: Sirkka-Liisa Leinonen
I stand on the yard and gaze into autumnal twilight. My face is wet from drizzle. I take a deep breath. I know there are far too many things that require my attention. Too many expectations and demands. I stare into the deepening dusk. There is a lump in my throat. I feel so inadequate.
When I go in, my husband sees my feeling of exhaustion and inadequacy. He comes and hugs me. Right in the middle of a busy evening, he listens to my concerns and comforts me with the familiar words. I look at his eyes, the love that shines from them. I wonder who it actually was that has the biggest demands and expectations. Myself? And for no good reason. No-one needs to struggle beyond their strength. And I can take my time to learn new things one at a time. I close my eyes and listen to the moment. I suddenly feel peaceful and secure.
The early autumn was a time of changes in our family. After a long time I returned to work outside home. Getting used to the daily work schedule was hard, and chores piled up at home. Our children needed to be held and listened to. There were moments when I felt poignantly inadequate.
Yet, I have also felt deeply grateful for the time I was able to spend at home with our children. I saw them grow and witnessed their first steps. That may never be possible again in our family, but I am happy for having had that experience. Although I have such warm memories of that time, it was not always easy or light. There were moments in daily family life when I should have acted differently. I should have been wiser and more patient.
One day I was telling our teenager how often I had found myself unsuccessful as a mother. My child said gently, ”For us you were the perfect mother”. I lifted my gaze and shook my head. I reminded her that I had lost my temper so often. When I was tired, I was impatient and spoke angry words. I was not a good example to my children. The child did not look away when she said, “No, mother. All that has been forgiven.” Those words touched me deeply. I felt encompassed by total grace.
I have often wondered about the touching faith of children. One day one of our children looked up at the rainbow in the sky and said to her father, “It would be fun to find a real treasure at the end of the rainbow.” Then she was quiet for a moment and said cheerfully, ”Yes, but… there is a treasure at the end of one’s life. If one is believing.”
It is so good to know that we already possess part of this treasure through faith. We find it in forgiveness, whereby God’s love makes the penitent sinner completely clean. In the light of that love even an unsuccessful parent or spouse seems perfect.
”Nuori tarvitsee vanhemmat, jotka ovat huolissaan, pettyvät nuoren toilailuista, ilahtuvat onnistumisista, suuttuvat laiminlyönneistä ja sanovat tarvittaessa ei. Vanhempien tehtävänä on uskaltaa, jaksaa ja kestää silloinkin, kun nuori ei itse uskalla, jaksa tai kestä”, sanotaan Mannerheimin Lastensuojeluliiton sivuilla.
Levollista ja iloista laulu- ja soitinmusiikkia turvallisesta paimenesta. Tutustu tarkemmin tästä.
Runokokoelmassa luonto peilaa ihmisen kokemuksia, mutta myös vaikuttaa kokemuksiin. Tutustu tarkemmin tästä.
Nuortenkirja kertoo koulukiusatun Joonan rippikoulukesästä. Vaikka kirjassa käsitellään vaikeitakin aiheita, siitä löytyy myös ystävyyttä, iloa ja luottamusta Jumalan johdatukseen. Tutustu lisää ja tilaa täältä.
Mitä lapset tekevät purjeveneessä? Mukaansatempaava kertomus lapsiperheen erilaisesta matkasta suviseuroihin. Tutustu tarkemmin tästä.
Lohdullisia ja riemullisia lauluja taivaasta Jämsän Kristillinen Kansanopiston kuoron laulamana. Tutustu ja tilaa levy verkkokaupasta!