JavaScript is disabled in your web browser or browser is too old to support JavaScript. Today almost all web pages contain JavaScript, a scripting programming language that runs on visitor's web browser. It makes web pages functional for specific purposes and if disabled for some reason, the content or the functionality of the web page can be limited or unavailable.
Vieraskieliset / In-english

Blog: Half of my life

Vieraskieliset / In-english
13.9.2020 7.10

Juttua muokattu:

11.9. 15:42
2020091115421220200913071000

On May 13th this ye­ar my hus­band had spent half of his life with me. For me, that mi­les­to­ne date was al­re­a­dy in No­vem­ber last ye­ar. I had on­ce cal­cu­la­ted those da­tes just for fun, but in the bust­le of dai­ly life I had for­got­ten my own mi­les­to­ne date.

Yet I kept in mind my hus­band’s mi­les­to­ne. Ear­lier in the win­ter I plan­ned that we could have a nice wee­kend to­get­her. We could le­a­ve the child­ren with a ba­by­sit­ter and do so­met­hing fun, just the two of us. But the tiny vi­rus shot down my plans: there were no ba­by­sit­ters avai­lab­le. We the­re­fo­re had to be more cre­a­ti­ve about our ce­leb­ra­ti­on of the fes­ti­ve date.

Half of one’s life sounds like a long time. Ul­ti­ma­te­ly, ho­we­ver, ha­ving star­ted courts­hip qui­te yo­ung and ha­ving mar­ried soon af­ter that, we will li­ke­ly spend much more time to­get­her than on our own, if that is God’s will. In my pra­yers I of­ten ask that God would grant us a long life to­get­her. It seems im­pos­sib­le even to ima­gi­ne life wit­hout the tho­rough­ly fa­mi­li­ar com­pa­ni­on by my side.

The pain­ful se­pa­ra­ti­ons among our friends re­mind us that we should not take a good spou­sal re­la­ti­ons­hip for gran­ted. We should rat­her ac­ti­ve­ly nur­tu­re our re­la­ti­ons­hip with ten­der­ness and com­pas­si­on, to­get­her for­gi­ving and as­king for for­gi­ve­ness. One per­son can­not alo­ne sal­va­ge a mu­tu­al re­la­ti­ons­hip. We can al­so pray for he­alth and a safe life. So­me­ti­mes one of the spou­ses is ta­ken away through a di­se­a­se or ac­ci­dent so ear­ly that, from the hu­man view­point, the ot­her spou­se’s life re­mains se­ri­ous­ly in­comp­le­te.

I am sure that there are mo­ments in each long mar­ri­a­ge when one qu­es­ti­ons the sen­se and va­lue of the re­la­ti­ons­hip. I re­mem­ber how, in a mee­ting with my the­ra­pist many ye­ars ago, I comp­lai­ned how dif­fi­cult it was to live with my hus­band, won­de­ring if we had even been me­ant to each ot­her. The the­ra­pist as­ked me how we had met.

I be­gan to tell her a long, me­an­de­ring story full of oc­cur­ren­ces and coin­ci­den­ces. When I said, ma­y­be for the fifth time, how ”things had been me­ant to go”, I sud­den­ly re­a­li­zed so­met­hing. If things had gone the way I had me­ant them to go, none of those coin­ci­den­ces had ta­ken place. The He­a­ven­ly Fat­her’s hand had been ar­ran­ging things long be­fo­re our paths cros­sed. I am qui­te sure that we re­al­ly were me­ant to meet and to take hold of each ot­her’s hands. To walk this path to­get­her, to car­ry each ot­her, to bat­t­le and rest to­get­her.

While tel­ling the the­ra­pist about how we had got to know each ot­her, I be­gan to smile. My voi­ce be­ca­me sof­ter and war­mer and my ey­es be­gan to shine. I re­cal­led mo­ments that had ta­ken place de­ca­des ago. The fee­lings of frust­ra­ti­on and di­sap­point­ment, the brit­t­le la­yer of ice around my he­art mel­ted away then and there, and my bit­ter te­ars dried up. All those things were rep­la­ced by over­po­we­ring ten­der­ness and gra­ti­tu­de. When I met my hus­band la­ter that af­ter­noon, I hug­ged him hard and told him about my ex­pe­rien­ce. I am sure it al­so touc­hed his he­art. Our will to love and res­pect each ot­her was on­ce again re­ne­wed.

And how many ti­mes it has been re­ne­wed sin­ce that! I have so­me­ti­mes said that the ex­pe­rien­ce of fal­ling in love again with one’s spou­se is much bet­ter than yo­uth­ful pas­si­on. When my hus­band co­mes home ear­lier than ex­pec­ted or walks to­ward me ac­ross a car park, my knees seem to go soft and my he­art be­gins to beat fas­ter. There you are, the one that was gi­ven to me by God! Thank you, dear He­a­ven­ly Fat­her!


Text: Pau­la-Maa­ria Itä­nie­mi

Trans­la­ti­on: Sirk­ka-Lii­sa Lei­no­nen

You will find the ori­gi­nal blog post here.

19.9.2020

Muis­ta­kaa tämä: joka niu­kas­ti kyl­vää, se niu­kas­ti niit­tää, ja joka run­saas­ti kyl­vää, se run­saas­ti niit­tää. 2. Kor. 9:6

Viikon kysymys